No dictation please.

Today, I have upset the whole evening. Why oh why? At first I did not realized why, but when my husband got back from work, he could see that I had a lot on my mind. Finally he managed to crack me open.

This afternoon, my mum called me. something has happened where one of my siblings has made a remark that she doesn't like to hear. I was able to understand here reasons of being upset. she told me her stories and a lot other things. Well, that is my relationship with my mum. She tells me her stories, and i just say hmm and nod at the same time. No comments, no feedback, nothing at all. I just let her talk and talk.

Well, this afternoon, she was telling me stories as usual and I was listening, as usual. But somewhere in the middle of the conversation, she started telling me what to say if a certain situation arises. Basically if I saw any of my friends' partner, spouse is cheating, I do not tell my friend. I am not allowed to say anything because it won't be good for me. I was suppose to follow exactly what she said, because she said so.

The thing is, what my mum do not know about me is, I'd rather lose my friends than doing the wrong thing by keeping the secret of cheating husband or wife from my friends. I did all this before, and of course with evidence (nowadays, handphone mostly got camera, so take pictures as evidence). Yes, i did lose their friendship at the beginning, but when they no more in denial, they became my friends again.

This is me. My mum should not even try to dictate me now any longer. I am who I am. But she did this afternoon. That was the reason I was upset the whole evening. hmmm.... i am 33. it is not that my mum cannot give me advice. Advice is different from dictating. I am what I am. am just different from most people. Only a few people who knows me as I am.