No man no worries

 Growing up, i am more listening to my paternal Grandma. My nenek. She went through war with thr Japanese, hardship of being poor even though she was basically a daughter of a respected man and married to at that time, it was considered as big as not many of locals became a magistrate. That was my paternal Grandma. My Tok Ki.

Almost every weekend, my cousins, aunties and uncles will be at my parents house because my nenek was there. I see how she brush off anything that not to her liking. She smile, she laugh and she got hurt too. But she took everything gracefully. She was never bitter. She just let everything flow and go. 

I believe, thats why, i am too positive. Thats how i was described but my friends and children. Of course, i went through hurt snd happiness. Whatever it was, i still smile. Not only on social media. But, anytime.. Will still smile. I was told that i need to feel the hurt.. I do. It is not that i dont. It is just that. I let hurt sink into my every part ofy body and soul and then, tomorrow is a new beginning. It is as simple as that to me. 

Yeah... At the back of my mind, i see my grandma aka nenek in me. No husband? No worries. Even though in my case, i have to get myself out of the marriage and my soin to be ex away from my children. At least for the time being. My children, they need to heal. I pray that he could understand the damages that he has done. Yes, i know, he said it was ne who did it. Say whatever hr wants. Whats important is the reality.