Syariah Law for Women

I learned for the past few months. Bukan senang nak jatuh nusyuz seorang wanita, bukan senang seorang isteri itu derhaka pada isterinya. Our syariah system tidak menyebelahi pihak lelaki. Cuma orang perempuan, khususnya isteri tak tahu hak mereka. Dan mereka tidak diberitahu hak mereka, 

Sebelum failkan cerai, learn. Find out. Buat research sendiri. Jangan malu untuk bertanya pada kawan kawan yang dah jadi janda.

Sebelum failkan Fasakh, bersedia untuk buka semua cerita, sampaikan cerita dalam bilik tidur jugak. Tak yah la nak malu. If your man dont satisfy you sampai orgasm pun boleh kira dengan jari. ready to inform that to the judge. It is important. Sebab, most men will not even hesitate to do exactly that.

Learn as much as possible. Know your rights. As a wife. Jangan dengar cakap orang yang tak tahu apa apa. You must know, sekolahkan mereka yang suka hati kata seorang isteri itu derhaka, yang sukahati nak nerakakan sekorang isteri. Ya, sekolahkan mereka, But before nak sekolahkan mereka. You must have the info and knowledge. So dont stop asking and learning.

Family

I have seen many cases of mothers, wives that been beaten by their husbands, boyfriends and such. who do the need to ask for help?

Often, tehy asked from NGOs like mine for help. Sometimes, they are just so far away, I had to ask. DOnt you have any family members that you can turn to? The hesitation... kills me all the time. 

Sah sah, datang dari perut yang sama, sebab tu la dipanggil adik-beradik. Sah sah sperm tu la yang jadinya wanita ini sebagai manusia di muka bumi ini, but most of the time, these women dont turn to these men that suppose to be their protector.

Even when I did called these men to help their sister or daughter. The answer always.. "kami tak nak masuk campur. Rumahtangga dia, tak patut kot kami masuk campur." 

Kepala hotak kau!!!

The responsibility of brothers and fathers never stop once your sister got married lah. It continues. In fact, as a brother and father of the wife, you are suppose to visit them from time to time at their home. One reason is, when you visit your sister's family, she dont need to wear tudung to cover her hair and body. She can be more at ease. 

The simplest reason. where the brothe and father is responsible to theur sister and daughter. Until she die.. it is all in the Quran and Sunnah. Learn that..

My kids..

One thing that what my mum taught us right is, is about loving and taking care of our children. 

Thats why, i just cant accept when someone told me there are other people more important than my children. I should not be with my children. And when they cant make me leave my children, they try to make me believe that i was a crazy and horrible mother. Crazy in the sense that as though I am crazy and teach my children wrong. 

Please do not under estimate own children especially with the vast  knowledge that they can get at their finger tips. And the way they think and dont even think they can be easily persuaded. Nope... Not kids nowadays... 

So.. the one that said I was the one who put ideas into my kids head. Helloooo... I am that awesome that I can teach one of them to be ADHD? 

Kids giving and telling whats in their mind. Just because it does not suit your  mind.. that does not mean it is wrong and make them a bad person. 

I still on my children's side. Because they have only one mother,

ADHD daughter of mine and us

 Finding out my daughter is ADHD, was huge to me. Here mood swing, her attitude, her track of mind. all make sense when she was diagnose as a person with ADHD.

She was brought up like any normal child. At least that's how i believe any kids suppose to. I am not a perfect parent. But I do try my best. I do very much love all my children.

Knowing the reasons of her actions as she was growing up. her extra sensitiveness it finally make sense. And after learning and knowing that fact, i did all kinds of research to rope the brother and sister in and get them into the same boat. 

It is not about understanding her. It is about being with her and continue to love her even how screw up she makes us feel and she herself feels most of the time. Be with her and don't even bother trying to figure out what the hell is in her mind. or heart or brain or whatever part of her body that she is using to think and feel at the moment. 

Now, here I am with my three children. One of them is ADHD. The four us doing our best. The learning  and discovering. That is on going... We pray hard... very very hard, the love that we have for each other. Just the four us and it is fine.

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